Many years ago, I had the occasion to coach young boys in a competitive baseball league. When I was asked to coach I did so with the idea that I would teach baseball in a manner that taught young boys how to lose and win. As we all know, being a winner is quite a bit of fun but what happens when you don't. Many kids today and back then in the mid 90's were always told how good they were. God forbid if a player ever felt bad. What a crushing blow it would be to the self-esteem.
With my coaching plan well thought out I assembled my team, clearly outlined the rules and then braced for the blow back that I knew would occur when my players failed to win. You see, I accepted a number of boys who would not be front line players on most teams. My goal was to get us to .500 for the season. We practiced hard, ran fundamental drills at every practice and kept everyone active the entire time. Then came time for us to suit up and get between the lines. The time had come to compete. Sometimes we were really good and sometimes we were really bad. Never did quite reach that level where you are always close to winning. It was an either or for us
As expected, losing created discontent and when that sets in all focus is gone. You must know, my boys were 13-14 playing on regulation major league fields for the first time. When teams lose players who are not regulars get a bit uncomfortable sitting on the bench. With limited playing time they feel confident if given a chance they can make the difference. It never works out that way. They are not front line players for a reason.
After a rather long losing streak I decided to teach one of life's lessons to a young group of boys who no doubt lacked the capacity to understand what I was about to tell them. Anyway, I took the plunge. I gathered the team for a meeting and simply told them that before you get upset about lack of playing time, losing or any other event they perceived to be negative I shared one of my keys to success. Do Your Best! Life's Not Fair!
By way of explanation I said if the 10th player is sitting on the bench he thinks it's not fair. If I made him the 9th guy and the 9th guy the 10th then he wouldn't think that was not fair. The point is very simple. In some way life is always unfair so get over it. Just keep working hard and some day you will enjoy success. It may not be in baseball and there may not be any understandable return on your effort. But, what you are doing is building an important work ethic, a positive attitude and an understanding that without effort nothing is possible.
It has been years since I coached those boys. You wonder how they turned out. I learned that one of the boys played baseball for several more years, some in college. I heard that he penned one of my comments to him in the bill of his baseball cap; to remind himself of the positive words I once shared with him. There have been a couple other stories that have come back to me. It is rewarding to think that some of those young boys embraced the message.
In my personal life and business I work hard to maintain that same focus. I always try to do my best and I understand completely that life is not fair. No, I don't think anyone is purposely doing anything to inhibit my success (maybe someone is but so what) people are just going about their own busy lives trying to make a living. So, you keep working hard, do your best and everything else will take care of itself.
A final thought. Realize that many things are bigger than yourself. Pay forward as often as you can it enriches your life!